the heat, the rain, the joy...

Friday wasn't so great.

it was great that my parents let me stay home.

but they made me work on my revisions.

and the heat doesn't help either.

I easy so busy doing my work (honest!). before I knew it it's time to call it a day...

the next day wasn't so exiting either. I hate Saturdays. there is always things for me to do. the mountain pile of laundry, the messy house (I'm blaming my brother), and even holes on shirts or trousers that wasn't even mine! because nobody else cared, all of those things are my problem. nobody else seems to realize that. except for my mother. she's probably the only one who says thank you. but she's always away every Saturday. that is the reason I hate Saturdays.

my father is soooo wrapped up with my brother, he doesn't care about anything. not that I need attention from him. I'v given up on that years ago. he has the habit of giving attention when it is NOT needed. and didn't notice anything when I actually need some. annoying. so I'v learn to be patient and to control my emotions since he won't notice anything anyway.

my sister is equally annoying. my mother had a talk with me about how my sister is going through pubescent times. she gets emotional and a bit self centered. she spend the whole day in her cave (a.k.a room) with her laptop. it gets kinda annoying. but he thing that most bothered me is that she doesn't tell me whats bothering her. we used to be so close. now she treated me as a stranger. like it was my fault she is so unhappy. now, every time I try to make a friendly approach. she would snap, ignore or yell. every time I went to her room to put the fresh laundry in, she would snap her head, hiding her laptop screen like she didn't want me to see. okay maybe I'm nosey by nature. but it really hurts when I have to go often to her room and she did that every time. like she didn't trust me anymore. nobody trust me anymore.

while my brother... he's being himself. he runs around, messes up the living room I just cleaned, distroying the fresh pile of laundry I just fold neatly. sometime I wondered, if my father is so busy watching my brother, why is he still gets away and messes up everything.

I wasn't actually force to do these things, but I don't trust my other family member to do it right. they didn't fold the clothes as neatly. they left the dryer for a long time until the clothes smelt like burnt rubber. they wouldn't clean the house properly either. well I trusted my mother. she could always do things right. but she's always busy. and who could blame her? she probably has to do more things than me. I'm not saying that I'm perfect. that nobody is as good as me. but sometimes I feel like I'm the only one who cared.

anyway, I was reading my last post and I recall the math lesson on Thursday. it's a bit more interesting than my usual daily life, so I decided I should write it in more details.

so heres what happen. it was 4th session, it was hot, and I watched too many computer screen that day. my hyper scale was increasing. I went to class, and as usual, I was on of the few person who came on time. The other person is The boy (you know...) and the other one is my friend, her name is Radhika. she's a new kid. I haven't actually asked her but I bet she's from India, or at least Srilanka. I waved with this ridiculous grin on my face at Radhika, she waved back without a hint of suspicion, she must thought I was just being friendly, when I'm actually losing my senses. then without stopping my wave, I turn around and waved to Mrs. Rangarajan, the math teacher who just came. mrs. Rangarajan smiled at me.

'ah, you feeling happy today Nisa?'

I nodded, still with the ridiculous grin.

'so no more throwing things in the bin huh?'
I had to laugh. the other day she caught me throwing my test result in the bin. unfortunately we were only supposed to look at it and give it back. so I had to fetch my papers from the bin. embarrassing. Radhika laughs too. she saw what happen. hopefully nobody else did.
then we went inside.

after the teacher went inside, a boy (his name's Matias) opened the door to let me and Radhika in. Radhika quickly went inside. I don't. no matter how long I stayed in Australia, I would never get used to "gentlemen's" holding out doors for me. I considered that sexist. how come ladies have to go first? I once got in a one minute argument with a boy about that.

I told Matias I let him go first.

he said I should go first. Typical.

I insisted he goes first. and when he's going I whispered; 'ladies first..'
and he was like: 'What!?'

darn it! I was hoping he wouldn't notice me saying that.

'never mind' I said my catchphrase.

in math I was completely restless. I decided to write something. before I knew it. I created a short story. I called it "Imagination three times". it's not as good as my other stories. but this story is highly criticizing people around me. especially people who has lost their Imagenation and has no sense of creativity. and only do things for an accurate, obvious, reasons.

my friend Anh, ask me if I was writing a love letter. I said I was. she said she never gets a love letter so I make one for her. because I don't want to be misunderstood as a lesbian, I made up a character named: Joe. that is supposed to be the one is sending the letter. at first the letter only says; I LOVE U. than before I knew it my other friends want have love letters too. so it grew longer and longer. eventually it becomes so good, that I got three girls fighting over me. it's too bad I'm straight :). well yeah... that's how it goes for the rest of the math lesson. my teacher pointed out that I'm not myself today. nice observation :).