I blame the teachers that keeps on saying goodbye. Mrs. Wandoch saying I did well on the english exam (even though I wrote with a pencil, she doesn't seem to notice that). Miss Ferugia saying she's going to London and won't be coming back till we're in year 12. Mr. Paulous asking if I enjoy physical science. and I said yes. it is boring, but I'm not lying, I did enjoy the boredom. I know he's trying hard as a teacher, and I appreciate that.
then I did a little reminiscing. This year hadn't been perfect. I had a few uninvited moments, a few people I detest, a few people who detest me, awkward situation, hard times, etc... anyway, school life has not been easy. I feel there is a moment where I feel my confident just shrunk into a tiny ball that compressed my lungs. but little by little I try to push that feeling away, little by little I try to speak up. I try to let people into my life. I definitely changed this year. this year I began to build a barrier with the opposite sex. not that I avoid them, but I try not to get too close. I couldn't do that two years ago, I was too carefree. while last year I was in a girls school. this year I began to learn to speak up when I want something, instead of shrinking back waiting to be ask what I want. this year I learn to be more sociable, I realize making friends are not that hard. instead of waiting for someone to say hi to me, I went up to people and talk. and this year I just realize something, I found the courage to let my friends see my random personality. usually I hide it at school, and released it at home. I realize that my friend laugh along with me. they enjoy my randomness, and that certainly boost my confidence.
boy this is getting dramatic...
I realized that I regret nothing this year. I wouldn't change anything if I could go back. even though sometimes I want time to go faster, I realize that I actually enjoy watching myself growing up, It's worth all the wait.
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